Who do I work with?
I work with professionals dealing with fear of failure, chronic indecision, and dating and relationship issues. I also see a lot of people who throw themselves into work to avoid dealing with messy emotions. Many of them grew up walking on eggshells, or learned early on to go quiet and disappear. Their caretakers were often depressed, chronically anxious, stuck in survival mode, or emotionally immature: parents who were physically present but emotionally unavailable, unpredictable, or overwhelming.
Growing up in that kind of environment doesn't just shape how you think. It shapes who you become. To survive an emotionally unsafe home, children don't simply develop unhelpful beliefs about themselves and others. They internalize those experiences so deeply that they become reflexive, woven into personality, identity, and how they move through the world.
This is often referred to as relational or developmental trauma, or Complex PTSD (C-PTSD). It looks like a childhood of chronically unmet emotional needs, and an adulthood of overthinking, perfectionism, people pleasing, toxic shame and guilt, and feeling overly responsible for others. If any of this resonates, you're likely exactly who I work with.
What makes working with you different?
Everything I specialize in, I've lived. I've been through hell and back, and I've done my own long-term therapy to work through it. I also spent my doctorate researching how shame is passed down in Chinese American families, so I've studied the same patterns I lived.
Research backs this up. A therapist's own history helps you most when they've worked through it (Hayes et al., 2018; Zerubavel & Wright, 2012). And feeling culturally understood matters more than just matching ethnicity (Cabral & Smith, 2011; Soto et al., 2018).
I keep sessions about you, but I'll share a little of my own story when it helps. Done carefully, that builds trust and insight (Hill, Knox, & Pinto-Coelho, 2018). Either way, you'll never wonder whether I get it.
References
Cabral, R. R., & Smith, T. B. (2011). Racial/ethnic matching of clients and therapists in mental health services: A meta-analytic review of preferences, perceptions, and outcomes. Journal of Counseling Psychology, 58(4), 537–554. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0025266
Hayes, J. A., Gelso, C. J., Goldberg, S., & Kivlighan, D. M. (2018). Countertransference management and effective psychotherapy: Meta-analytic findings. Psychotherapy, 55(4), 496–507. https://doi.org/10.1037/pst0000189
Hill, C. E., Knox, S., & Pinto-Coelho, K. G. (2018). Therapist self-disclosure and immediacy: A qualitative meta-analysis. Psychotherapy, 55(4), 445–460. https://doi.org/10.1037/pst0000182
Soto, A., Smith, T. B., Griner, D., Domenech Rodríguez, M., & Bernal, G. (2018). Cultural adaptations and therapist multicultural competence: Two meta-analytic reviews. Journal of Clinical Psychology, 74(11), 1907–1923. https://doi.org/10.1002/jclp.22679
Zerubavel, N., & Wright, M. O. (2012). The dilemma of the wounded healer. Psychotherapy, 49(4), 482–491. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0027824
How long does therapy take?
Often our deepest insecurities, fears, and core beliefs were derived from the first 18 years of our lives.
Think: 365 days x 18 years of relational attitudes, beliefs and assumptions that were modeled to us by our caretakers and other experiences in our upbringing environment.
If you were raised in a household where your emotional needs were often met with disappointment, overtime you will likely develop a generalized expectation (core belief) that "others cannot meet my emotional needs, so what is the point of help seeking, talking about it, or working through issues with someone?"
In therapy, I utilize the therapy relationship to reshape these deeply ingrained relational attitudes. 12 months of treatment would be considered short-term. Many of my clients work with me for multiple years. It is through the aggregate process of therapy contact that enduring change occurs.
As I am making a commitment to you in your healing journey, 1x a week therapy cadence (excluding holidays and in advance notified time off) is the expectation given my therapy orientation. This frequency is necessary in order to reconstruct old relational attitudes stuck in the past, and to promote healthier ways of relating to oneself and others (attachment) and down to the neurological pathway level.
References
Relapse after cognitive behavior therapy of depression: potential implications for longer courses of treatment. (1992). American Journal of Psychiatry, 149(8), 1046–1052. https://doi.org/10.1176/ajp.149.8.1046
Ali, S., Rhodes, L., Moreea, O., McMillan, D., Gilbody, S., Leach, C., Lucock, M., Lutz, W., & Delgadillo, J. (2017). How durable is the effect of low intensity CBT for depression and anxiety? Remission and relapse in a longitudinal cohort study. Behaviour Research and Therapy, 94, 1–8. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.brat.2017.04.006
Leichsenring, F., & Rabung, S. (2008). Effectiveness of long-term psychodynamic psychotherapy: A meta-analysis. JAMA, 300(13), 1551–1565. https://doi.org/10.1001/jama.300.13.1551